So it’s been just over a week since I stopped eating like a hardcore vegan gangbanger, and it appears my body doesn’t really care for the shitty food I use to eat, as much as it does for the all-natural garbage. I’ve also noticed that I’ve been craving naps again. I don’t think I took one the entire month...

God people are stupid! I was just at Safeway in the self checkout aisle, and I was ringing up all my food, and right when I’m about to swipe my card some asstarded asian woman comes over and YELLS at me that I scanned my apples wrong?! So she resets my ENTIRE order (is that what you would call it?), and puts all my food back in...

DANGER! DANGER! I was wrong… I was SO wrong about the after effects of veganism. Maybe I didn’t notice the symptoms last Sunday because I was so hung over, or maybe I just didn’t eat enough meat for it to effect me! Monday night I had a god damn Taco Bell mexican fiesta in my apartment…. like I mean I ate enough...

Sorry about the lack of updates… as my body still knows (feels), last Saturday was St. Patty’s day, and apparently I’m incapable of leaving the couch a day after drinking for 17 hours straight. Go figure. As carefully scripted from the beginning, Saturday was my first day of eating meat in a month. For those who are...

So this whole vegan kick is quickly coming to a close, and not a moment too soon apparently. Last night I had a dream that I was riding my unicorn through downtown Seattle, and instead of a horn he had a big ass carrot. For some reason I was sitting at a bus stop, which is just madness, since if I had a unicorn I would just fly it around...

I’m too tired to think of something to write tonight, so I’ve decided to inform you about some important discoveries that I’ve stumbled upon during my month of being a vegan. I’ve been working closely with my associate, Dr. Travis Reid, who holds a PhD in Ancient Vegan History, a masters in Vegan Theory, along...

Let me start this off by saying that eating a ridiculous amount of spicy ass indian food, followed by drinking an ungodly amount of beer, apparently doesn’t make your body too happy the next day. I’m going to spare you the details, but let me just say this… if I lit a match in my house, the place would go nuclear. Maybe...

Since I’m forcing myself to do this whole vegan thing right, I finally decided to take an adventure to Whole Foods. Upon entering the store, I immediately regretted my choice. I have never seen so many snobby, yuppie, assholes in my entire life. If you haven’t been there before, stay away, FAR away… I can’t even...

Holy crap people are annoying. I’ve been on Facebook less and less lately, so maybe I’ve missed out on this growing trend that I’m now seeing. It seems that people have finally come to realize that their friends will completely ignore their emo status updates, that complain about how miserable and sad their life is,...