Location: Seattle, WA
– I honestly can’t think of anything worse than getting a bunch of Jeopardy questions right and having no one around to witness it.
– Creating a FB page for your baby is a great way to tell the world that you are in no way fit to be a parent.
– Don’t knock on my door. This isn’t 1986, text me saying you’re outside like a normal person.
– Don’t wear a red polo and khakis to Target. Ever.
– I swear to god if I was bidding on The Price is Right, and someone bid $1 more than me, I would attack them right in front of the live studio audience.
– Nothing says “I’ll never be financially stable” better than a vanity license plate on a shitty car.
– At this point, its pretty safe to assume that no one under the age of 25 knows the definition of “literally.”
– Your own personal hell is never truly realized until you have listened to the Toys R Us song on repeat for 15 minutes while waiting on hold.
I love sports, and have been a die-hard Oakland Raiders fan for almost 30 years. Considering how many losing seasons they’ve had in that span, ‘die-hard’ is kind of an understatement. There is actually a picture of me when I was eight years old wearing Raiders sweats, a sweatshirt, coat, and hat. That being said, it probably comes as no surprise that I lost my virginity before I turned nine. My favorite basketball team is the Suns, who I started following in the early 90s when Sir Charles joined the team. I think the greatest athlete of all time is Bo Jackson, and if you disagree with me, you’re wrong.
Even though I come off as a supernatural sex symbol, I am actually a pretty hardcore nerd. I grew up reading comics, and consider myself a Marvel expert. I love video games, and have played World of Warcraft since the day it came out, although it’s hard to fit into my schedule these days. I’ve also seen more movies than is probably healthy. My favorite of all time is a toss up between Tombstone and The Fifth Element.
As for this site, I have owned the domain for just about 15 years. For several of those I maintained a personal blog which consisted of my adventures through college, and the years that followed. Fortunately I deleted it all before the internet started saving everything, since I now look back at all my old writing and cringe… believe it or not, I was a pretty big tool. Ok, probably isn’t too hard to believe, shut up.
This site will never be maintained on a consistent basis, and the direction I choose to take it in will always change. I only keep it around for my own personal amusement, and because I’m always going through brief stages where I want to run a website, so that I can write again and dabble in subpar web and graphic design. That’s the main reason you’ll see a few month block of me writing nearly everyday, then nothing at all for the next year. I have a short attention span, I suppose.
If you want to know more feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I get a metric ass-ton of spam, so make sure your subject makes it pretty clear you’re a real person, and not someone trying to sell me Viagra or verify my identity by signing up for a porn site so that you can safely meet me. Seriously, who falls for that shit??