Operation: Vegan

Operation: Vegan – Aftermath


So it’s been just over a week since I stopped eating like a hardcore vegan gangbanger, and it appears my body doesn’t really care for the shitty food I use to eat, as much as it does for the all-natural garbage. I’ve also noticed that I’ve been craving naps again. I don’t think I took one the entire month I ...

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Operation: Vegan – Day 30!


DANGER! DANGER! I was wrong… I was SO wrong about the after effects of veganism. Maybe I didn’t notice the symptoms last Sunday because I was so hung over, or maybe I just didn’t eat enough meat for it to effect me! Monday night I had a god damn Taco Bell mexican fiesta in my apartment…. like I mean I ...

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Operation: Vegan – Day 28 & 29


Sorry about the lack of updates… as my body still knows (feels), last Saturday was St. Patty’s day, and apparently I’m incapable of leaving the couch a day after drinking for 17 hours straight. Go figure. As carefully scripted from the beginning, Saturday was my first day of eating meat in a month. For those who are confused by the title, ...

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Operation: Vegan – Day 26 & 27


So this whole vegan kick is quickly coming to a close, and not a moment too soon apparently. Last night I had a dream that I was riding my unicorn through downtown Seattle, and instead of a horn he had a big ass carrot. For some reason I was sitting at a bus stop, which is just madness, since if ...

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Operation: Vegan – Day 24 & 25


I’m too tired to think of something to write tonight, so I’ve decided to inform you about some important discoveries that I’ve stumbled upon during my month of being a vegan. I’ve been working closely with my associate, Dr. Travis Reid, who holds a PhD in Ancient Vegan History, a masters in Vegan Theory, along with a doctorate in Quantum ...

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Operation: Vegan – Day 22 & 23


Let me start this off by saying that eating a ridiculous amount of spicy ass indian food, followed by drinking an ungodly amount of beer, apparently doesn’t make your body too happy the next day. I’m going to spare you the details, but let me just say this… if I lit a match in my house, the place would go ...

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Operation: Vegan – Day 20 & 21


Since I’m forcing myself to do this whole vegan thing right, I finally decided to take an adventure to Whole Foods. Upon entering the store, I immediately regretted my choice. I have never seen so many snobby, yuppie, assholes in my entire life. If you haven’t been there before, stay away, FAR away… I can’t even begin to describe the ...

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Operation: Vegan – Day 18 & 19

Green Vegan G20 protest

So when I mapped out my 30  days of veganism, I planned it so that it would end the day before St. Patty’s Day. I wanted to ensure that I spent one of the greatest holidays of the year eating boatloads of corned beef, and drinking an excess amount of booze. Now I’m hearing I have to “ease” back into ...

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Operation: Vegan – Day 16 & 17


As far back as I can remember, I’ve always avoided vegan restaurants due to the fear of them smelling like a mixture of cow shit, and body odor… and the food tasting even worse than the smell (Hippieaphobia – It’s a real thing, look it up). Well, that and the fact that I’ve always preferred going to Arby’s or Taco ...

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Operation: Vegan – Day 14 & 15


So I’ve made it to the half way point of my little experiment. I don’t understand why some people have a hard time becoming vegan, it really wasn’t too bad at all. The first week I craved dairy (mainly cheese), but that was about it. To the people that say that you need to “ease into it slowly,” I say “quit being vaginas and ...

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