Milwaukee, WI

So there was a certification training I needed to attend for work, and there were two options of places I could go… New York, and Milwaukee. I’m assuming that if you’re smart enough to read this text that you’ve figured out where they sent me.

Although I can’t say I was too excited about their decision at first, Milwaukee ended up being a pretty cool place. It was the first time I’d ever been to the Midwest, so I was pretty shocked by how flat it was, and the ridiculous amount of lakes they have there. I was also surprised to see a bar and a church on just about every corner of every block I drove past… holy shit.

Since I was only there for a week, I tried to see as much as I possibly could while still attending my training. The main points of interest for me were:

Milwaukee Art Museum – The museum is located right down on the Milwaukee waterfront on Lake Michigan. It’s pretty large and takes a couple of hours to walk through… although this may come as a shock for many, I’m not exactly an artsy poet, but I still thought it was alright. I would have been much more impressed if it was comic book art, but whatever. It was worth the $17 admission, and it killed a couple  of hours. I preferred my time walking around the waterfront much more, plus I met some cute girls running around in next to nothing around the lake… yesssssss!

Bradford Beach – Even if you don’t go to the beach itself, you should definitely drive down the roads that line this enormous beach, the houses are incredible. That being said, the beach itself was amazing. The entire thing was lined with god knows how many volleyball courts, there was a bar, food, etc. Since I was alone I just bought and ice cream cone and watched people play volleyball for an hour or so like a total creep.

Above the beach there is a park that has a lighthouse, and some other fairly cool sculptures to check out. I saw a lot of people around that area taking senior pictures like a bunch of nerds. I also saw a hobo peeing in the bushes… so it has that going for it as well.

The Domes – Everyone I spoke to raved about The Domes, which are three domes located in what I’m pretty sure were the Milwaukee Projects. Each dome is a different ecosystem, there’s a desert oasis, tropical jungle, and a floral. Well… after getting past the fear of being shot while walking from my car to the entrance, I was told that the tropical and the desert domes were closed (which I later found it was because the roof was caving in on both). So I ended up paying $3 to see the floral dome, since I had already risked my life to get there.

The dome was ok, but it was humid as all hell, and my balls were sweating profusely within minutes. I spent about 15 minutes walking around and seeing all the different flowers, and then headed back to my car. Basically this place was a bust, and I’m not entirely sure why the city would place this right smack in the middle of the ghetto… but whatever. If you’re ever in Milwaukee, skip the domes, they’re dumb as shit.

Miller Park – Miller Park was an exit away from The Domes, so I headed here next. I was only able to see it from the outside, but it looks like a beautiful stadium. Unfortunately I was in town while the Brewers were on the road for the week, so I wasn’t able to see a game like I had intended to. I later found out that the Tigers were out of town in Detroit, and the Cubbies were out of town in Chicago as well… so basically I wasn’t able to see ANY sporting events the entire time I was there. Such is my luck.

Lakefront Brewery – One of my favorites while in Milwaukee was the Lakefront Brewery Tour, which is ranked #4 in the nation. The beer was amazing, I’ve already had a couple cases of it shipped to my house. While we definitely have some amazing brewers in Washington, they’re still not quite to the level of the local brewers in Wisconsin… sooooo many amazing beers there. Another bonus is that you get a free pint glass after you complete the tour, which I thought was cool.

Grant Park – Although I only saw a small portion of Grant Park, I did do The Seven Bridges trail, which would have been pretty cool if it weren’t for the amount of bugs flying around. Half the time I opened my mouth a bunch would fly in for me to choke on. The park is right on Lake Michigan, has several beaches and overlooks, a golf course, etc etc. But the bugs… good god, so many of them. Maybe it was just the time of year, but they sucked.

So those were the main attractions, for me at least, while I was in Milwaukee. I decided to pass on the Miller Brewery Tour, since Miller beer tastes like sewage filtered through an ass crack, and didn’t feel like driving out to Pabst Mansion, since I simply didn’t care. The rest of the time I spent with a cool gal I met while there, and we hung out at some pretty cool lake front bars up on Pewaukee Lake. Was cool to see the area from a locals perspective, rather than hitting all the tourist destinations.

I also went on a hike while in the area, which I’ll cover next.

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