DANGER! DANGER! I was wrong… I was SO wrong about the after effects of veganism. Maybe I didn’t notice the symptoms last Sunday because I was so hung over, or maybe I just didn’t eat enough meat for it to effect me! Monday night I had a god damn Taco Bell mexican fiesta in my apartment…. like I mean I ate enough Taco Bell to feed a small country, and holy crap did I suffer for it. The next morning my body had completely turned against me. I was feverish, and I felt like I was carrying a 20 pound child, covered in hot sauce, around in my bowels that refused to see the light of day. I now know how it truly feels to bear a child in my man-womb…
Basically, long story short… no woman can EVER tell me that I don’t know the pains of child birth. I now know, and it is horrific. As of Wednesday morning, I gave birth to two bean burritos, minus the onions, add sour cream… a volcano taco… and a nacho. In fact, I think I might have felt a pain GREATER than child birth. Women get 9 months to mentally prepare for their birth, I only had 2 days! I don’t expect your sympathy, but at the same time it would be greatly appreciated.
So to make matters worse, today I was being Cocky McCockerson and thought my body might have gotten use to the meat again via my pains earlier in the week. I was being lazy so I ran up to Dairy Queen, cause a burger and fries sounded delicious after so long. After I bought it I felt like a fat slutty whore… and I didn’t even want to eat it. I honestly felt so guilty for being lazy, and going to get fat people food (FYI – Taco Bell ISN’T fat people food, it’s awesome people food). I got home and just looked at it for a good 5 minutes before I decided I would eat it just this once. It tasted soooooo good and amazing…. 5 minutes after I was done eating it, I was just exhausted and took a nap. I think it was the first nap I’ve taken in over a month. Then I woke up to feeling feverish and stuffed full of another fucking child! Did I become man-pregnant again from this Dairy Queen?! Will I be waddling around like the walking dead for the next two days now?! WHY DO I DO SUCH STUPID SHIT!!!
Ugh, so anyway, on to my last day of veganism. For day 30 I made myself some vegan Kung Pao noodles, and mixed in some vegan peanut sauce I found at whole foods, along with some veggies. It kinda tasted like card board and toilet paper covered in peanuts. I didn’t like it at all… way to go out with a bang on my last day, right? I powered it down though, because I’m a total trooper and am hardcore as armor plated shit. Blah! Anyway, here’s the pic. I’ll be back in the next couple of days to post my wrap-up of this little experiment. I’ve totally been geeking out the past couple days to the new World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria beta test that I got from my buddy at Blizzard. Yeah, you don’t have to say it, I know I’m cool. Anyway, back in a few… enjoy!
Calories for day 30: 1490 Weight: 185.04
(Fun Facts: Height: 6’0″ / Starting Weight: 197.6)
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