So I made fun of my wannabe hippie friend for not making it a week trying to be a vegan, and he claimed that I “couldn’t make it 2 days the way I eat.” Therefore, since I have to go to the extreme in every choice I make, for the next MONTH I’m going vegan, and as a bonus I’ll be doing it eating only fresh fruits, veggies, brown rice, and oats. I will also be criticizing what everyone else eats during this period, so that everyone knows how superior I am. Since I am, and will be, a lifelong meat eater that has always made fun of the vegan/vegetarian lifestyle, I feel that it’s only fair that I make fun of all non-vegan/vegetarians while I myself become one.
Step 1 of Operation: Vegan was to head to my local Costco to load up on all the crap that healthy people, and vegans, eat. My vegan starter kit included:
- Stir-Fry Vegetable Blend
Normandy Style Vegetable Blend
Natures Three Berries (Raspberries, Blueberries, Blackberries)
Festival Blend (Mangos, Payaya, Strawberries, Pineapples)
Edamame Natural Soy Beans
An assload of canned corn and green beans
Lentils & Quinoa
and obviously, Quaker Oats!!
Mmmmm, yum, right?? My fridge & freezer now look like a hippies wet dream. So after doing some research on the vegan diet, I found out that since I’m no longer eating meat, and won’t be comsuming any dairy for the month, that I’m going to have to take a shit ton of of suppliments to go along with this god forbidden lifestyle. Which brought me to Step 2… a trip to Bartell Drugs to grab the following:
I even got a sweet pill organizer that old people use to sort their medicine!!
Finally, it was time for The Last Supper. Now obviously if I was being executed tomorrow, my choice of a last meal would be Taco Bell, but since I’m just going vegan for a month (a close second to being executed), I decided to go with Outback Steak House. As you’ll see, I was overwhelmed with joy. Wish me luck, Operation: Vegan starts tomorrow!