Silver Falls State Park – Silverton, OR

Silver Falls State Park is an… experience… Since there are on-site campgrounds, and it’s only $5 to get in, every type of asshole you can imagine shows up here on a nice day. Even the shady individuals that you assume would rather be smoking crack under a bridge are here… more than likely smoking crack under a waterfall, but hey, I guess crackheads can enjoy nature as well, right? Although I did get the sneaking suspicion that some of them might live there…

Luckily most of the dillholes migrate to the South Falls and stay there, unfortunately for you this is the nicest waterfall in the park. After viewing the South Falls you can take a 5.5 mile loop around the Trail of Ten Falls. At this point it’s pretty much hit-or miss, as some them are amazing and you can get up close, and others are about as interesting as watching yourself piss into some bushes.

While there were less morons along the rest of the trail, you will most certainly run into some on your way. Whether it be a pack of high pitched women wearing high heels on a hiking trail, and complaining nonstop about how much their feet hurt, or a morbidly obese couple pushing a baby stroller across the rugged terrain while it cries at the top of its lungs, you WILL be annoyed at how stupid the rest of the world is, and possibly wondering if you could get away with murder that far out into the woods.

If I had to do it all over again I think I would run in, see South Falls, eat some lunch, and get the hell out of there. While it’s fine to see and hike with other people on most trails, Silver Falls was a bit too much. I truly left feeling that this was the one place in the world where the stupid congregated to come up with new ways to annoy the rest of the world.

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